By DANNY YOEONO
The crime blotter is compiled from public record and is not confirmed by Martinez Police or any other party unless otherwise stated. Some accounts may be unfounded.
Wednesday, July 20
At 1:32 a.m., a Brown Street resident reported a suspicious man that looked to be 5 feet 10 inches yet only 130 pounds. The thin man was carrying books when he came up onto the resident’s front porch and told the resident to close his door. Yeah man, close your door; there are weirdos with books walking around.
Just before 8 a.m., a man in a grey shirt was inside Ace Hardware on Pacheco Boulevard not buying anything, yet refusing to leave.
At 12:35 p.m., a woman was laying facedown in front of the bushes by the Carl’s Jr. on Morello Avenue. She probably just found out the Hollywood Video store was closed.
Around 10 p.m., a Blue Ridge Drive resident reported that someone had thrown a container filled with a black oil into her backyard that had spilled all over her spa and yard. Big oil is at it again.
Thursday, July 21
Around 8:30 a.m., a woman in a burgundy jacket allegedly stole alcohol and juice from the CVS drug store on Center Avenue.
At 9:39 a.m., 20 cases of water fell off a truck at Howe Road and Arnold Drive, blocking traffic. The drought is over.
A do-gooder decided it was their duty to inform the occupants in a vehicle about the ethics of littering, resulting in a shouting match with the driver of the vehicle. This incident occurred at 11:15 a.m. in front of the Walgreens on Alhambra Avenue.
About 15 minutes before 7 p.m., a man in a white t-shirt was “yelling, acting crazy and refusing to leave” the storefront of Buon Aroma on Alhambra Avenue. He might have just been mad about the misleading sign that reads “Pizza” out front. Seriously though, why is that pizza sign there? That place definitely doesn’t serve pizza. Also, the man wearing the white t-shirt wasn’t me.
A group of at least five people were in the middle of the park next to John Muir Elementary possibly fighting or wrestling at 10:41 p.m. At least they weren’t fighting Pokémon like nerds.
Friday, July 22
A man passing out flyers almost got away with stealing a scooter until the neighbor of the scooter’s proper owner stopped him and the scooter was returned.
A gray-haired man was urinating onto Castro Street at 2 p.m. The drought is over.
An Alhambra Avenue resident reported that a friend of hers was breaking things in her home and penultimately took her laptop before leaving after 10:21 p.m.
Saturday, July 23
A man with blond hair in a white hat was slashing a knife into the air while in one of the marina parking lots. His knife moves were not directed at anyone. The invisible slaying occurred at 9:26 a.m.
Sunday, July 24
At 12:43 a.m., a man in his 30s pulled a knife out at Ray’s Lounge.
Monday, July 25
A group of three thieves stole some razors and a few other items from the Virginia Hills Safeway on Alhambra Avenue at 4 a.m. SO … be on the lookout for clean shaven criminals.
At 9:21 a.m., a number of minors were seen “playing with a lighter” on Wano Street near Alhambra Avenue. Nine a.m. is a little early in the day to be “playing with lighters.” When I was young, I didn’t usually “play with lighters” until a little after 4 p.m.
Near 5 p.m., a man described to be in his 50s and wearing a flannel shirt was on Main Street near the US Bank walking westbound when he hit the door to the bank and then picked up and threw a nearby sign.
At 6:46 p.m., a woman who was thought to be high on drugs was sitting on the ground while hitting her head against a wall near Sal’s Family Kitchen.
Tuesday, July 26
The lock of the Goodwill donation trailer was found cut off with donated items strewn outside. Please be on the lookout for criminals in second hand clothing.
A man on Sheridan Lane reported there were “tweakers in the area.” That’s Martinez, dude.