By DANNY YOEONO
The crime blotter is compiled from public record and is not confirmed by Martinez Police or any other party unless otherwise stated. Some accounts may be unfounded.
Tuesday, Aug. 9
A leopard print shirt wearing woman in her 20s was disrupting guests at the John Muir Inn by banging on doors and acting hostile at 1:48 a.m.
A drunk, long haired, bearded and hospital gown garbed man was lying on the sidewalk in front of a home on Brown Street where he relieved himself around 11 a.m.
At 1:19 p.m., a Shasta Drive resident complained of his neighbor removing fence boards that were separating their properties. The gap in the fence was probably to avoid a Wilson and Tim dilemma from the television show “Home Improvement.”
A man in a plaid shirt was said to be combative at the public library at 3:11 p.m. He was described as threatening but nonviolent. Shh, it’s a library dude.
Thursday, Aug. 11
At 1:30 a.m., a Pleasant Hill Road resident heard something break on her front porch. When she looked, she found a broken pot on her front porch.
A transient entered an office building on Arnold Drive waving a stick around and demanding to use the bathroom. The stick-up happened at 1:15 p.m.
Around 3:25 p.m., the concession stand at the Joe DiMaggio baseball fields was being assaulted by a person wielding a hammer. I must concede there are easier ways to get a hot dog and some Red Vines.
Near 8 p.m., balloons were trapped at the top of a telephone pole on Wayne Street making it spark.
Friday, Aug. 12
A man was reportedly “yelling obscenities at [the Alhambra Avenue and Main Street] intersection” at 8:50 a.m.
A man exiting Wal-Mart pulled out a small, machete-type knife he was hiding under his shirt, though he was not threatening anyone with it. This happened at 9:45 a.m.
A man fell asleep inside the Chipotle restaurant on Arnold Drive at 12:32 p.m. I, too, feel sleepy after eating lunch.
An attempted theft allegedly occurred at States Coffee near 4:50 p.m. by a blonde woman in a denim jacket. Why would you try to steal from such nice people?
Saturday, Aug. 13
A man was following women who were playing Pokemon Go near the old train station on Ferry Street around 9:30 p.m. He was noted to have not been playing the game.
Sunday, Aug. 14
The barbecue area behind the bocce courts was reported to have overflowing garbage.
Around 12:30 p.m., a person who was afraid of dogs reported a loose dog in Hidden Lakes Park. This wasn’t me. I am not afraid of dogs; in fact I have two of them.
At 1:51 p.m., a car was on fire on Thistle Circle.
Someone complained at 6:18 p.m. that the Saints Motorcycle Club on Marina Vista Avenue was playing music and being loud, in general, for hours.
Some kids on bikes and hoverboards were throwing glass bottles in the parking lot of Home Depot at 7:06 p.m.
Near 11 p.m., a man carrying two bags asked Pokemon Go players around the old train station area if they wanted to buy a gun. Those Pokemon nerds cannot catch a break.
Monday, Aug. 15
A Brown Street resident reported that their neighbor was playing the guitar and drums around 9 p.m.
Screams for help were heard to be originating from Alhambra Creek around 10 p.m.