By DANNY YOEONO
The crime blotter is compiled from public record and is not confirmed by Martinez Police or any other party unless otherwise stated. Some accounts may be unfounded.
Wednesday, Sept. 14
I popped my tire this morning while driving and looking at the helicopter that floated above the chemical spill on Pacheco Boulevard and not to metal debris that was in the road and then in my tire.
A man was arrested for public intoxication when he was seen stumbling around Alhambra Avenue near the Highway 4 off ramp wearing blue scrubs and a crown fashioned out of paper material. My king was taken into custody around 10:15 a.m.
A bearded man with a knife in his belt was reported to have been beating up another man at Arnold Drive and Shadowfalls Drive during lunchtime.
A woman in a purple robe was screaming at the world, which included a pedestrian on Escobar Street, around 6:30 p.m. The content of her grievances included various 51/50 topics.
Two train bandits stole candy from an Amtrak cafe car before the train had arrived in Martinez.
Less than 10 minutes before the Chipotle burrito restaurant 10 p.m. closing time, a man in a light colored shirt was sitting at a table in the dining area, staring at employees.
Thursday, Sept. 15
A car with a purple cat bumper sticker was noticed missing at 8:15 a.m. on Rolling Hill Way. The car will probably turn up in a few hours meowing at the front door with a dead bird laying underneath it.
Near 10 a.m., a small plastic bag was found at the Kaiser medical facility on Muir Road. The finder believed it to contain black tar heroin, which Kaiser insurance definitely wouldn’t cover.
A man who has been living at his Elderwood Drive residence for a year was digging in his yard just before lunchtime when he discovered a handgun of the revolver type.
Two women were creeped out by a middle aged man who made remarks to their appearance and waved at them while they were walking through the City Hall plaza near 3:30 p.m.
A basket full of makeup was taken from the CVS drugstore on Center Avenue at 3:41 p.m. That is called a pretty (sic) theft.
At 7:46 p.m., a seemingly aggressive man in his 40s was talking to himself while shadow boxing on Alhambra Avenue.
Friday, Sept. 16
At 3:30 in the morning, a man in his 20s, wearing a long sleeve shirt, continually went inside the John Muir Inn lobby asking for free things and for drugs. This wasn’t me. I can get plenty of free things at home.
A half-naked man was observed defecating on the lawn of Alhambra High School at 11:05 a.m. That is a one way ticket to Saturday school.
A sawed-off shotgun was discovered by a landscaper in front of Pre Tech Dental Lab on Alhambra Avenue at 2:47 p.m. These gun discoveries are probably just somebody’s strange scavenger hunt.
Saturday, Sept. 17
A Martinez resident was defrauded $125 after she was told she won $1 million.
Sunday, Sept. 18
Another public pooping was seen in front of the Les Schwab Tire Center at 4:24 p.m. The doo-dooer who did the deed was described as an older man.
Monday, Sept. 19
A Haven Street resident found that their front porch, retaining wall, sidewalk and car were splattered with paint. A few days ago the same home was doorbell-ditched with the hooligans leaving a hand drawn picture of the male anatomy.
A woman with shaven hair took a sandwich and cookies from the Nob Hill grocery store on Center Avenue at 12:19 p.m.
Tuesday, Sept. 20
A person believed to be sleeping was laying face down with a hood over their head by the gym at Martinez Junior High School near 7 a.m. Sounds like a teacher I had there.
The train crossing arms that block traffic at Ferry Street were going up and then down without a train being present for them to activate around 9 p.m.