By DANNY YOEONO
The crime blotter is compiled from public record and is not confirmed by Martinez Police or any other party unless otherwise stated. Some accounts may be unfounded.
Wednesday, Sept. 28
A woman with apparent blood trickling down her neck was doing drugs in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart around 10 a.m.
Thirty-three minutes later, Wal-Mart had two men attempting to break open a watch in the jewelry department while one subject was wearing a stolen hat and the other was wearing a stolen backpack with stolen items inside.
I can only assume they drove off in a stolen vehicle to their stolen safehouse.
At 4 p.m., a woman was seen smashing the front passenger seat window of a dark blue Honda minivan parked on Alhambra Avenue. The glass was broken with what seemed to be an ice pick.
An F Street resident was threatened to have “bullets put through his face” by his neighbor over a parking dispute around 7:30 p.m.
In the eighth hour of the day, the tip jar of Ian Yogurt in the Muir Station shopping center was stolen. C’mon man, why you gonna steal tips? Rude.
Thursday, Sept. 29
At 2:38 a.m., one man went down Main Street kicking over garbage cans while dancing around and talking to himself. At one point he was punching the window of a Ferry Street business.
A Farm Lane resident was yelling and cursing at their neighbor near 11 a.m.
Alcohol was stolen by a man who was threatening and cursing Shell food mart employees at 2:47 p.m. The food mart is located on Alhambra Avenue.
Friday, Sept. 30
A drone was reportedly flying to and fro in the Grandview Avenue area at 1:24 a.m. A resident claimed her peace was disturbed and her privacy invaded. Obama is at it again with them drones.
A masked man was seen riding a motorized scooter on the campus of Martinez Junior High School at 12:51 p.m.
A Bryce Drive resident heard something knock on her kitchen window while she was home alone at 7:36 p.m.
A group of three males were firing a bb gun in one of the large parking lots at the marina at 9:45 p.m. Careful, you could shoot someone’s eye out with that thing.
Saturday, Oct. 1
At 12:03 a.m., a man was seen carrying multiple bicycles over his shoulders while also riding a bicycle. I think that’s some sort of Guinness World Record.
At 5:23 p.m., a woman was seen on Date Street digging in the dirt while talking to herself. I didn’t know there was a Date Street. Anybody wanna go there with me?
At 5:53 p.m., a woman was seen sitting on a fence on Scenic Avenue holding a 12 inch knife that she took out of her backpack.
At 9:14 p.m., a man with a beard and cane was walking back and forth on Estudillo Street while yelling. We should listen; only wizards have beards and canes.
Sunday, Oct. 2
A suspicious person was walking towards downtown on Castro Street carrying a box for a vacuum cleaner that was thought to be stolen. The midnight stroll occurred 14 minutes past midnight.
Another suspicious person was seen at 11:01 a.m. in the backyard of a vacant Elm Street house carrying duffel bags and wearing a long Hawaiian dress.
Two inebriated women stopped a car on Ward Street and asked the driver for a ride home just before 6 p.m. One of them attempted to enter the vehicle through the passenger door.
Monday, Oct. 3
A group of three adults and their accompanying children dined and dashed the IHOP diner with a tab of $81 around 5 p.m. I am unsure which judicial jurisdiction the unpaid pancakes fall under because it is international territory.
A man with a long beard spent 45 minutes in the Starbucks bathroom on Main Street around 5 to 6 p.m. He allegedly responded with gibberish when spoken to.
Tuesday, Oct. 4
At 5:48 a.m., a man holding what appeared to be a rake was in the roadway on Alhambra Avenue screaming by the Jack in the Box. Someone is excited for autumn.
At 2:14 p.m., a man who appeared to be in his 50s fell down while carrying groceries on Shell Avenue.